I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
