she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
home. puking in laundry basket.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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