This is not my ceiling
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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