at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
