your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That accounts for only three of the penises
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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