I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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