someone get that fucking seahorse.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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