I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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