Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
