didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize