My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
