so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
