Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
