I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
