STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
