Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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