I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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