He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
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