That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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