my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
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U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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