4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
