dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize