i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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