She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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