I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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