last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize