is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
