well I can't set my house on fire every night
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize