I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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