fuck your aforementioned shoe
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
