who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
