He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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