so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just cut my nipple shaving
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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