I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
