Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
