Plan B is the new Plan A
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
