i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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