I wish I could teleport
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
