I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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