He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
