Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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