Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize