What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
