Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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