my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
