Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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