I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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