its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
tell your sister to shave her snatch
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
