It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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