No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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