Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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