Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
