I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
