I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
