we have officially lost it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
