cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
