I wish I could punch you in the face.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
