He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
