Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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