I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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