we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
