Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
