Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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