operation harelip BJ is a go
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
