tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
