Your tits are I can't wait for
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
